Marc Walder, my coach’s instructor and our master BJJ instructor, held at seminar at Dartford BJJ in early March. In addition to some fine technique, Marc’s seminars include discussions of the philosophical approach that he’s used to develop himself as person and as a BJJ player. A lot of what he says seems to boil down to the need to relinquish ego. By doing so, it is possible, for instance, to roll with detachment and therefore adapt to the available positions rather than struggling to hold on to an opportunity that has evaporated. Furthermore, this approach should allow the practitioner to roll without fear, in particular fear of tapping. Of course none of us like to submit, but it is an important part of the learning process and without this very crucial feedback it is difficult to see where our game needs improvement. In this vein, Marc recounted his earlier days on the mats, when he’d be working a new technique into his game, which might lead him to getting caught out, but ultimately allowed him to integrate the new technique and improve. If he’d feared being submitted, he’d not have attempted techniques outside his comfort zone and so never have progressed.
It can be tough to ‘leave your ego at the door’ and it is something I struggle to put into practice everyday, but I feel like today I’ve made some progress. I’m working hard on bringing a new technique into my arsenal and in the course of testing it out I got tapped fair and square. For the first time I didn’t feel bummed out or embarrassed or any other negative stuff, and I was really pleased for my partner as it was some good, clean work on his part. Perhaps this is a green shoot of a maturing sense of self? I’d wager so, but it is also a testament to the supportive group of people I train with. I find myself often getting quite paranoid that I don’t have the respect of some of the men that I train with, and, indeed, recently flew off the handle and accused a training partner of taking the piss (I’ve since apologised and humbly asked forgiveness which has not yet been given, stupid insecurity demon). While I occasionally give in to the fear that I’ve not got the respect of the men I train with, I’m often struck by how much love and respect I do get from my BJJ brothers, and so when I was tapped today I didn’t sweat it; I’m confident my training partner won’t think I’m a chump just because he got the better of me today. Being able to work with people I trust and have a great deal of respect and affection for makes it much easier to give up fear of being tapped and get on with trying to develop myself and my game. So, while I’ve still got miles to go to before reaching anything approximating ‘BJJ excellence’, I know the journey can best be made with a fearless heart.
23 Mar 2009 @ 1:40 pm
Really good thread on the topic of tapping and how it relates to progression in BJJ, here.
23 Mar 2009 @ 1:42 pm
Cool, thanks brother, I’ll check it out. Get well soon, but rest proper now so you can hit the mats full force sooner 😉
23 Mar 2009 @ 2:32 pm
I still deal with that from time to time. My pride gets in the way of me progressing. I use moves I feel confident I’ll hit versus things I’m not too sure about too much.
Plus, being tapped by a guy who is on the mat for the first time in his life kinda sucks. 😉
– Isaac
23 Mar 2009 @ 2:38 pm
I hear you, Issac. Like I say, I’m pretty used to being tapped, but I do allow myself to become too defensive and get stuck on the bottom not getting tapped but not regaining initiative either. Working on trying new things and integrating new offensive stategies, and of course when I open up to attack/attempt a new thing in not the right way I’m going to run the risk of getting caught out. Have definitely come a long way in the ego department though, as that experience would’ve brought me really low not long ago, and I didn’t feel any negativity and took the feedback it gave me and will hopefully rock my new move a bit better this week 🙂 But, yeah, getting tapped sucks, and I’ve got extra chip on my shoulder/something to prove complex as a female and a smaller player; can’t let that shit rule me or I’ll never break through the ceiling I’ve recently hit. Roll on, brother.
23 Mar 2009 @ 3:35 pm
I’ve hit a ceiling I’m trying to overcome, too. Not improving much. Talked to my coach about it and he said to keep on trucking, that it will come to me and I’ll figure it out shortly.
I’m workin it, though. I have big man’s complex. It really sucks when I get tapped by a little guy. I have yet to get tapped by a girl, though. 😉
– Isaac
23 Mar 2009 @ 4:51 pm
Indeed, Isaac, in my limited experience, there’s short bursts of identifiable improvement followed by long plateaus of plugging away. I agree with your coach; you’ll get there!
Would be happy to introduce to you tappage by a woman, if we’re ever in the same time zone; is a character-building experience for a man 😉
30 Apr 2009 @ 4:05 pm
Fabulous post. I wasn’t keeping up with your blog enough; I’ve added it to my list now. I enjoy your thoughts!
30 Apr 2009 @ 4:51 pm
Thanks, Georgette, that is very kind. I’ve been keeping an eye on yours and love the fanatical attention to gi! 😀
BJJ woman gets a break when partner errs | MegJitsu: A Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Blog by Meg Smitley | Women in BJJ | Women in Martial Arts | BJJ Gi Reviews
4 Feb 2011 @ 1:40 pm
[…] months ago I reflected on being submitted; I frakked up when trying a new move/got complacent and my partner used the […]
BJJ Tropes: EGO | Julia Johansen's BJJ Blog
10 Feb 2011 @ 3:24 pm
[…] how often or to whom you tap. Meg also connected the ego-less-ness with tapping and wrote about Excellence Through Fearlessness and came from the angle that when you tap to a lower belt THEY will still be able to respect you! […]
Jiu Jiu's BJJ Blog – BJJ Tropes: EGO
30 Jul 2013 @ 2:38 pm
[…] how often or to whom you tap. Meg also connected the ego-less-ness with tapping and wrote about Excellence Through Fearlessness and came from the angle that when you tap to a lower belt THEY will still be able to respect you! […]